~ c0nFeSSi0n Fr0m LoCkHeArT ~

~ He sMoKes Cigarettes ~

2012-01-18T01:45:00.000+08:00

hari ini saya lepak dengan kawan-kawan sebelum mereka pulang ke kampung halaman masing-masing. sort of girls' day out. kami tengok movie 'shelock holmes', kami shopping sehelai baju, kami lepak, kami makan, dan...kami makan. end of the activities of today.

highlight pada hari ini adalah beberapa orang lelaki. quite good looking, all of them. sempat lagi kan. dah alang-alang meja bersebelahan. usha jea. sedang ktorang bgossip, ktorg terdengar topik perbualan lelaki-lelaki tersebut.haaa.multi- tasking betul ktorang. basic point of the cnversation goes like this:

guy 1: aku nak tanya korang, apa 2 perkara yang boleh buat korang tak senang duduk klo takde?

guy 2: klo aku, bb and rokok.

cliche.

guy 3: soalan apa laaa nie. aku, kereta and rokok.

cliche.

guy 4: haha. aku rs korang tau ape kelemahan aku kot. rokok n call dr awek aku. klo xdpt call dr awek aku, aku rs cm plik.

ala.sweet *ke*

bla.bla.bla.

moral of the cnversation: most of the guys will be miserable without rokok? some will say that they want to look cool. some will say that smoking releases tension. some smokes to feel warmer.

most will think it's hard to stop smoking or they cannot stop smoking.

1 question.

have you ever tried to stop?

" I LOVE HER "

2011-12-24T01:38:00.000+08:00

one day, Bella Gilbert brought her boyfriend, Edward to her family dinner.

while Bella was helping her mother in the kitchen, Edward was left with Mr. Gilbert to do the barbecue. Edward was very nervous and trying very hard to bring up comfortable conversation with Mr. Gilbert. but after a moment of silent, Edward was awakened with a conversation that he will never forget. only with a simple question, a sincere answer and lead to a meaningful outcome.

Mr. Gilbert: do you love my daughter?

Edward: Yes Sir, with all my heart.

Mr. Gilbert: Good. then you should always remember that during your hard time with her. always.

People says mothers are much more connected with their children.
but, I guess fathers also have their own instinct. even they rarely show in front of the children.
or maybe never shown at all.

somehow, I think that is rather sweet and charming sides of you, dear fathers :)

~ MiRRoR tEsT ~

2011-12-11T14:43:00.000+08:00

I am a big believer in the "mirror test".

All that matter is if you can look in the mirror and honestly tell the person you see there, that you've done your best.

my career life has give me new challenge that there is time when I feel to give up. undeniably, I realize we have had our ups and downs but that is what makes us different. Even though you may want to move forward in your life, there always something holding you back. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.

After all, we survived, we're still here. That is when you know nothing can actually break you apart, it just makes you stronger and I honestly would not have it any other way.

for now, I'm learning to be free.

~ when LoVeRs become StRaNgeRs ~

2011-11-01T00:26:00.000+08:00

am currently listening to Coldplay songs. the songs always sooth me. like you're surrounded by the beauty of nature and there's nothing to bother you.

I read somewhere that if you're going to cry, you can recite the colour of things to make it stop. green tree, yellow skirt, blue sky, blue jeans, blue eyes. it may work sometime, but not all the time. how I miss to talk to someone. it's amazing, some people, they just say these small little things, one sentence and it changes the way you fell about them in an instant. small little words that can hurt you so much or make you fall deeply in love forever. it changes everything. nothing between you is ever really the same again, even if they don't know it. and I don't blame you for questioning why people fall in love.

the truth is, strangers became friends for some unknown reasons. some friends become lovers eventually. then, when lovers cannot work things out and break-up, almost always, they end up becoming total strangers again. it has been a cycle. and it must not be.

it's such a shame when lovers become strangers.

Can You FeeL the Magic?

2011-10-18T00:09:00.000+08:00

I met you for a reason

the greatest weakness of most human is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they are still alive.

if you like someone, if seeing his or her makes you happy and if you feel like you know his or her even without talking, then don't let that someone go. in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly who you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what you have, the right person will think the sun shines out of your ass. that's the kind of person that is worth sticking with.

and now d distance has become a challenge to us. as last time you told me, missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are at least one day closer to the next time you will see them.

that's what I've been hold on until now and I hope the next time I see us, we can make the best of it.

compassionate ~

2011-08-29T01:04:00.000+08:00

honestly, I don't have much feeling to celebrate Raya this year.

master degree saya masih dalam proses application. hampir putus asa dengan proses yang agak menyukarkan kerana faktor jarak. hidup mengalami perubahan drastik tapi kosong. i keep praying tapi manusia biasa lumrahnya memang suka mempersoalkan.

Ramadhan is such a blessed month. it brings hope to me. it makes me realize not to wonder why Allah doesn't grant my wishes immediately as He also doesn't punish me immediately for all of my mistakes.for the mistake of questioning, of giving up easily, of losing hope. surely, You are most merciful.

for now, I am just being thankful and praying that I will meet Ramadhan again in next years. anyway, have a wonderful Eid celebration peeps :)

~ hYp0cRiTeS ~

2011-08-23T01:14:00.000+08:00

now you'll realize when people stop talking to you, they'll start talking about you.and in the end you always go back to the people who where there for you in the beginning. when it comes to this situation, I salute the above quote.

~ meLancHoLiC ~

2011-08-08T15:51:00.000+08:00

he always told me that reality is nice. because he could met me.

I've known him forever. i know how he always like the idea of getting up in the morning and make a morning call to his lover. how he would rather not to smoke in front of his lover. he's considerate like that. though sometimes he will be an annoying person when he turns to an ignorance.

my thoughts somehow are always with you. I wonder what you're doing and who you're with.I wonder if you still love to go to karaoke when you feel stress. I wonder if you still go to movies while i'm not around. I wonder how your days have been. I always wonder every little thing about you.

you know why? because you are my anchor, my pillar, my strength, my hope, my universe and supremely my everything. I am glad the last time I saw you, you seem to be in perfectly-well condition. we were just fine.

then reality hits me.

I love you, you love her.

now I vote one for reality is cruel.

2011-07-16T00:34:00.000+08:00

my super cool roomates
( mar, yong & ain )

awesome roomates :)
( wanie, ain, ean, juma )

my Gfs forever

best buddy ;)

bestie, Diana :)

i used to spend my student's life with them... it was fun although we fight with each other sometimes.

kawan- kawan yang dah kerja selalu pesan, hargai saat2 jadi pelajar. dulu tyme belajar buat tak kesah jea pesanan tu. tp sekarang bila dah habis baru faham kata2 tu. the statement is true, indeed. life as a student is precious as compared to commitment life. i mean the commitment towards studying is super fun if compared to working life. dulu tyme belajar sempat lagi nak enjoy2, hantar assignment last minute, study pun last minute, kawan selalu ada kat sekeliling. sekarang kalau semua nak buat last minute, duit pun last lah masuk. kawan- kawan pun dah dengan life masing-masing.

now, baru nak start fikir pasal future. it's not an easy task as I can't decide it for myself. rasa macam nak duk kat rumah jea jadi suri rumahtangga yang bertauliah. honestly, I hate to realize that this reality has come to hit me.

I hate to confess it but, oh I love being a student ;)

~ Day 111 ~

2011-07-07T14:53:00.000+08:00

everyday the same thoughts haunt my mind. everyday the same questions repeat themselves over and over like a constant echo in my head. everyday feels like a routine of the same emotions.

everyday...

i look for an escape.

~ cRuSh ~

2011-05-19T01:04:00.000+08:00

hye.. I have a big crush on you.

okay bye.

~ puzzle of complexity ~

2011-05-11T19:23:00.002+08:00

and here comes the feeling of insecure.

one simple advice. people that are meant to be together always find each other in the end. just walk along the path and leave the rest to fate :)

~ Her Day ~

2011-05-08T01:35:00.000+08:00

the moment a child is born, the mother is also born. she never existed before. the woman existed, but the mother, never.

honestly speaking, I am not so close with my mother. but as I grow older the relationship becomes close naturally. some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers. my mother scolds and kiss together. tipu ah kalau cakap saya tak jeles bila orang lain boleh anggap mak nie macam kawan baik gilerrrr... cause I can't do so. but I know I am lucky coz I got a mother like her. unique and has a superb sense of humour :)

Puan Shadiah:

HAPPY MOTHER's DAY :)

thanks for everything

You're flawless & Love you so much.

p/s: happy mother's day to all mothers in the world. thanks for being the greatest mothers to your children. you're precious :)

~ HoPe ~

2011-05-05T03:07:00.000+08:00

when you are in trouble or feeling sad, people always tell you "everything will be alright." and you will get better sometimes after hearing the phrase. the question is are the situations will really be alright? or are we just want to sooth our feeling and lying to ourself?

i know it's hard for us to accept reality and most of us seem to blame anything other than ourselves. even i myself always blame others even i know that the problem was rooted from me. best ke kalau dapat tipu diri sendiri? ape susah. bila dah tahu tengah tipu diri sendiri tak payah lah fikir dah. kan senang. how i wish things could be settled as easy as 1,2,3.

manusia sekarang makin senang nak menipu. sesetengah dah jadikan hobi from the habit. but i still search for the honesty. really. it's hard. or i think we should play truth or dare. or maybe just dare because no one knows how to tell the truth anymore. i give up.

~ cycles ~

2011-05-01T01:41:00.000+08:00

either we are lovers or were lovers; friends turn into enemies or vice versa. we will still have a precious bond. it's just a cycle of relationship that will add some sparks in the path of life. :)

connection ~

2011-04-07T00:13:00.006+08:00

" falling in love and having a relationship are two different things "

~ Musim Mata Lebam ~

2011-03-25T02:56:00.000+08:00

my final exam schedule:

1/ 4/ 2011 ---> Language for Occupational Purposes

2/ 4/ 2011 ---> World Literature in English

5/ 4/ 2011 ---> Arabic

7/ 4/ 2011 ---> Topics in Islamic Literature

9/ 4/ 2011 ---> Linguistics for Students of Literature

and mind you I will be done with my exam a week earlier than other students. I'm being quite satisfied as my subjects in earlier semester always ended in the last day of exam period.

but what bother me is that there's a saying or maybe a quote that says "80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read." interestingly, I've been very lazy this final semester and I can't figure out how many lectures that I've missed for each subjects that I'm taking =.='.

so, I've come out with the solution for my revision. as the more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as which answer they want. then, I won't give pressure for myself and try to read as less and compact as possible. see, who says revision is difficult?haha.good luck for those that will be sitting for examination. hope miracles will accompany all of us *-^

~ aNoThEr EncHanTmEnT ~

2011-03-01T01:24:00.001+08:00

before you give up on someone, you've got to remember why you're still holding on. and when you found the reason why.just remember that something better will come along and never ever forget the things that once made you smile

~ wRiTiNg CoUnTs ~

2011-02-17T18:40:00.000+08:00

why do writers write? I sometimes can't understand what some sheets are all about. but for my courses. I have to. or else I would be stuck up in undergraduate for quite a long time. it's hard to find writings that really can satisfy us. but when you find one, you'll surely treasure it or maybe obsess into it. what I like in a good author is not about what he says, but what he whispers.

I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions. for me, writing is like exploration. you seems like you don't know what to write. but most of the time, you'll be surprised where the journey takes you.

I know writing wasn't easy to start.but one nice thing about putting the thing away for a couple of months before looking at it is that you start appreciate your own wit. of course, this can be carried too far. but it's kind of cool when you crack up a piece of writing. and then realize you wrote it. then you start appreciate it. I used to see about my first post till the latest once. it's kind of shame actually, but it does bring recommended feeling.

honestly, if there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. live in your imagination. be seductive. writers literally create new worlds from scratch. what is sexier than that?personally, I don't know why every person out there isn't dating a writer.

I've got one ;)

I'll have my exam for my critical subject tomorrow, yet in my notes I don't understand what all the authors really want to convey. I think I will make up some illogical explanations tomorrow. or maybe most. dear MIRACLE, please come visit me tomorrow. please do.

~ InSiDe hEr HeaD ~

2011-02-13T01:05:00.000+08:00

they look at each other wondering what the other is thinking. but they never say a thing. they got their own interpretation. and the assumptions become the termites of their relationship.

she says she wants to be the girl that he'll love forever, the one that he'll never forget. she wants to be the girl that he'll always think about, and talk about to all your friends. she wants to be the girl that gives him butterflies when he see her; and when they touch, he'll tremble. for all the time she just want to be the girl that gives him the same feelings that he gives to her. in her defense, he doesn't seem to care for her, he doesn't appreciate her and she is unimportant. then, she decides to leave him for good, for his better future.

he sidled up to her from behind. "You..", he whispered. "Yes?". "Nothing". said him, taking her hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you.and I really want you.

now she realizes, there's no regrets. just love.

2011-02-05T01:40:00.000+08:00

cat lovers will adore above picture. I think. but at this moment, not for me. I guess the feeling will remain for quite a long time. if only I could blame the cycle of nature. if only I can put the blame on fate. as a person used to say, destroying is a necessary function in life. everything has its season, and all things eventually lose their effectiveness and die.

bukan ingin menyalahkan takdir. tapi kematian mereka berdua agak sukar untuk diterima. they are harmless. bukan salah mereka untuk menjadi mangsa kucing pada hari itu. it's just I can't imagine how they fight for their survival. but death keep coming for them. I regret as I cannot save them. I regret that I'll never be there while they ask for help.

* thanks for bringing cheerful & precious moments to my family with your presence*

miss both of u so muccchhhh...do rest in peace :'((

~ HoMe CoMiNg ~

2011-02-03T00:04:00.000+08:00

late last night so far away.
I dreamed myself a dream.
and I dreamed I was all alone.

this morning, I woke up from my comfy bed.
well the sun was superb nice from my window view.
I said to myself: welcome Home.
I miss Papa's smile.
I long Mama's joke.
I miss homemade cooking.
I enjoy sibling's chat.

isn't it nice to be home again?
this is true heaven. you think this happens everyday?

2011-02-01T19:15:00.000+08:00

would it be too demanding if I wish to have this kind of bedroom? ;)

~ LeT y0u kNoW ~

2011-01-15T23:31:00.001+08:00

I guess between things and people, the former are easier to possess.

but then we might lost the thing or misplaced it.

while for people, we will never misplace them.

because we know they were there.

but it could be that the feeling might not be the same.

~~anymore.~~

so Dear ***3055,

for all this while...

THOUGHT YOU ALWAYS BE MINE ~

~ eMoTioNs ~

2011-01-10T02:00:00.000+08:00

I feel annoyed when people interfere in my life while I never mingle with their matters.

I feel disturbed when people do not tell the truth .

I feel insecure when people stay away from me.

I feel unsettled when I lost my feelings for him.

I feel uneasy when my loved ones are in pain.

I feel lonely when I think about myself.

I feel empty when I forget about Him.

but I pray He will remember me :)

~ sAyA bAnKrAp ~

2011-01-07T15:20:00.000+08:00

saya di dalam dilema sekarang. ya. dilema. dilema kewangan.

ini gara-gara kereta a.k.a bumbleBEE saya. lepas dah habis rm300 beli satu 'barang keperluan', sekarang kereta nak bermanja-manja pula. oh, sebut pasal 'barang keperluan', nanti saya ceritakan. next post ok.hehe.
berbalik pada topik sebenar, selepas ditolak segala keperluan makanan, keperluan buku, dan kepeluan minyak hitam kereta, saya berada dalam kondisi yang amat berjimat. sampai nak shopping pun kena tahan nafsu yg berkobar-kobar. nak dating lagi lah kena bersabar, walaupun kadang-kadang tak sabar jugak sebenarnya.

alkisahnya, kereta tersebut sudah lanjut usianya dan enjinnye tetiba taknak hidup pulak. nak cakap tak cukup minum, minyak ada lagi. nie semua gara-gara minyak naik, kereta tu pun nk protes jugak kan. ada kaitan ke? selepas diteliti dari setiap penjuru dan bertanya pada yang pakar, sudah dipastikan bateri kereta ada masalah.
ingatkan lepas recharge, boleh start dah. sekali kena tukar baru daaa ~ ingatkan murah je. memang berangan lah. approximate rm120 -rm150 utk harga bateri tu.haish. memang menduga betul kalau pasal maintenance bumbleBEE nie. so, terpaksa lah lebih kental menahan segala nafsu dan keinginan untuk berbelanja. so, sesiapa yang nak membuat amal, derma anda amat dialukan ;)

~ I LoVe YoU, I nEEd YoU ~

2010-12-31T12:08:00.000+08:00

it's not easy to be me. when I'm around you.
I don't know how to make jokes with you as sister always do.
I don't know what to talk with you, compared to mama.
I want to tell you everything that happened in my life.
or maybe because I'm the eldest, you make me be independence.

but at time like this,

I really want to be by your side, I want to give you strength.
PAPA, do hold on. please get well soon.
I long to see your smile again.

~ sYaBaS Harimau Malaya!!!! ~

2010-12-27T01:26:00.000+08:00

AFF Suzuki Cup 2010 finals : Malaysia beat Indonesia 3-0 in their first leg match played in National Stadium, Bukit Jalil :)

I'm glad that I could watch the match at the stadium. the Malaysian players were great even Indonesian players tried to make 'interesting scene' during the play. high salute to the players especially the hero, Safee Sali. like you more lah...hehe. however, there's still bad attitudes from the crowds. main lempar bunga api lah, mencarut tak tentu pasal lah, campak botol air lah. haish...shame...shame...grow up people. kalau setakat datang tengok bola nak bikin situasi, baik minum hot chocolate sambil tengok kat rumah. mana hilang semangat kesukanan penyokong Malaysia tadi. but then, great job, players from both team. harap-harap match kat Indonesia nanti fair & square lah yerk.

Hero Harimau Malaya: Safee Sali - moga jadi lebih hebat di Bung Karno!

Malaysia Boleh! ceh, tetiba baru ada semangat patriotisme ;)

~ HeLLo FiNaL yEaR ~

2010-12-21T00:59:00.000+08:00

new semester has started. I'm taking only 13 credit hours this semester. but, the subjects sure are killing me:

topics for islamic literature
world literature
language for occupational purpose
linguistics for literature
arabic
automotive skill

see. the literature subjects are much more than the linguistics subject. me likey ^_*. linguistics can bring pressure to me at some time even I am majoring in combination.

bersempena sem baru, kena ada azam. so, for this new sem, I aim to study in relax mode. why? because I have to enjoy every moment of it =). buat ape nak stress kan...final sem kot.hik3. another aim is to have a super good time with my friends. iyelah...nanti dah tak berpeluang nak beronggeng dan berfoya-foya lagi kan.. yosh...what's the most important is I have to maintain my achievement. hopefully. for those who are also in final year, lets get through this year with satisfaction.yeah. good luck everybody!!!

~ m0mEnTs ~

2010-12-17T02:49:00.000+08:00

above are the only pictures that I have during my one month holiday. I guess I spend more time at home even though it seems nothing beneficial that I've done. it's good to spend time with your family and friends. or I rather say it was an awesome moment. because I might not be able to spend those precious moment again. everyone will be graduating. friends will have their own future to think of. there may no time to hang out soon. so, I really appreciate my final year as an undergraduate student because I know I will miss this journey the most. the time where I was late for handing my assignments, the period when I was taking the killer subjects, the time when I wanted to release all the stress. I am grateful that I have my friends. thank you =)

~ a PROMISE made should be a PROMISE kept ~

2010-11-28T00:26:00.000+08:00

semua orang suka bagi janji kan? atas macam-macam sebab. ada sebab nak tenangkan hati, ada yang nak menjaga hati, ada yang nak menarik hati. yang penting semua berkaitan dengan hati.hehe. tapi boleh ke semua janji tu dipercayai? sebab ada yang tipu sunat, dan ada juga yang memang tipu betul. macam mana nak bezakan tu?

i hate promises, actually. because i tend to fully believe in it.

janji buat saya letak harapan yang tinggi, janji buat saya berangan jauh, janji buat saya anggap fantasi boleh jadi realiti. itu kesan janji pada saya. saya? memang jarang berjanji sebab saya bimbang janji saya akan memberi kesan yang buruk.

cuma satu yang saya asyik fikir pasal janji. janji lelaki. ada orang cakap, lelaki suka bagi janji manis. orang yang cakap, bukan saya. betul ke? selalu janji lelaki mesti macam ni kan:

1) saya janji saya sayang awk sorang jea.

2) cuma awak sorang jea dalam hati saya. memang xde yang lain dah. saya janji.

3) saya taknak orang lain, nak awak jugak.

4) saya nak sayang awak sorang jea seumur hidup saya. sampai saya mati.

so, boleh percaya ke? kalau dah putus hubungan, mana dah sayang awak kat saya dulu?
kalau saya dah takde, kenapa awak cari yang lain juga?
kalau orang lain ngorat awak, kenapa cinta awak tergugat juga?

this post is not a matter of personal. yes, indeed. but i just wonder what about your promises to me? hope they are really true. because mine are all true :)

~ Graduation Dinner ~

2010-11-22T16:39:00.001+08:00

12/11/2010: pre-graduation dinner

*satu momen yang boleh dijadikan kenangan*

several months to go. dan bakal bergelar graduan. insyaAllah. hooray!

p/s: kredit to jae & freddy

~ Do Me a FaVoUr ~

2010-11-16T04:00:00.000+08:00

he thinks that I am talkative
his friends think that I am quiet

she thinks that I am a easy going person
her friends think that I am too unfriendly

afterall, it doesn't matter me much. but I only want to know. what's YOUR opinion? about me.
or maybe I have split identity ;)

~ the TAKERS ~

2010-11-11T08:18:00.000+08:00

went to watch a movie last week. TAKERS. a movie directed by John Luessenhop which revolves around a group of intelligent & skillful robbers. they try to pull off one last job with more money at stake than ever before. but the reality shows who's taking who. and and the actors are actually one of the reasons that attract me to watch it ;)

- paul walker, idris elba, hayden christensen, T.I, michael ely, chris brown -

overall, it's a nice movie even the effects are quite shaky. tapi tapi, my favourite guy is dead. in this movie.so, baby, i am down, down, down, down, down. movie jea pun kan...feeling terlebih plk.oh hayden...sob3!

but the climax of the day is, with parallel to the movie that I've watched, my beloved wedges also been 'taken' by a 'taker'. it feels so sad. it is more pathetic when it happened at a mosque. how could somebody take other's belongings at a holy place???so advice of this post, take care of your belongings wherever, whenever you are. I've learnt my lesson.

~ LiFe's ExPeCtaTioN ~

2010-11-05T23:59:00.000+08:00

am currently listening to Coldplay & Lifehouse songs. their songs always calm me. it feels soothing. like you're surrounded by the beauty of nature with the combination of the careness of the breeze touching you.

I am not in a good condition right now. it's not a bad condition but it's just not a good one. how I miss to talk to someone. to have a meaningful conversation. the feeling seems to be forgotten by me. how I long to spend precious moment with my friends. it's been months that we do not have a good hang out altogether. how I wish to be around my family at this moment. to voice out everything. and how I crave for your attention. as the moment will end soon.

I do not expect anything unexpected. I just want to maintain a good relationship with everyone and have a good life. that's all I wish.

~ cHenTa & KaSeH ~

2010-10-31T23:21:00.000+08:00

hai....nama saya Chenta ~

Kaseh tak ada. Kaseh pergi jauh. puas Chenta kejar Kaseh. tapi Kaseh taknak balik semula. kenapa Kaseh jadi begitu? kenapa Kaseh degil? tapi tapi Chenta tetap tak sanggup kehilangan Kaseh. Chenta tekad. Chenta nak jerit kuat-kuat.

"Kaseh!!!!!!! awak kat mana? mana awak pergi?!

"Chenta...Kaseh kat sebelah ni kan...tak pergi mane-mane pun. kenapa dengan Chenta nie? , soal Kaseh.

Chenta lihat sebelah.
betullah tu Kaseh.
confirm bukan orang lain.

tapi kenapa Chenta tak rasa apa-apa?

~ HaPPyNeSS ~

2010-10-25T00:57:00.001+08:00

bahagia bila dapat hadiahkan senyuman diri sendiri untuk orang tersayang kan?

tapi apa yang lebih bahagia?

orang tersayang membalas kembali senyuman itu. dan diri dapat merasa keikhlasan senyuman itu. tak ternilai.

~ LOSER? you're not worth it ~

2010-10-22T02:24:00.000+08:00

i had a conversation this evening. with some guys.

what do i expect? more relaxation and less hedges? it's surely a no indeed. they do gossip too...much way hotter than women. i think. it's sure would be a lie if i told that i've never gossiping about anything. yes, i did. but it just feels wrong when you're gossiping about anything, with the guys. especially about your own gender matter.

a girl had coincidentally sitting beside our table. she's cute and stylish. the guys agreed too. but then came her friend. wrong place at the wrong time. at the moment, the guys then asked me what do you think was the size of the friend. she's quite plum but still cute. and they make a lot of jokes about her. how sick is that. what do i answer? grow up people! at least she has size and doesn't have a mouth like you!

it's not like i'm being close minded. it's not like she is the same gender with me. and it's not like you're my friend. it's just you being a loser. and how do you fix that?

~ HeY GirL, I h.a.t.e y0u ~

2010-10-20T23:03:00.001+08:00

I've told you so many many many times....

takkan boleh punya lelaki dan perempuan berkawan takat "Teman tapi Mesra". tipulah lagi. Last-last mesti jatuh hati. so for what stupid purpose pakai statement 'kitorang kawan jea lah, takkan lebih dari tu, tak main feeling-feeling nie. aku takkan kacau pun hubungan diorang lah"

Stop coming in between other's relationship!It's just not about you, it's about your bitchyness.

yes, I don't get it. and I don't want to. just hoping to get rid of people like you.

~ PAPA.... I'll aLwaYs HeaRt YoU ~

2010-10-16T13:09:00.000+08:00

sewaktu kaki terseliuh

sebab nakal sangat maen-maen kat semak. papa mengatakan dengan tegas: " yang pergi maen kat semak tu sape suruh. ada kawasan lapang nak jugak pergi kat situ" (hati terluka)

tiap-tiap pagi bangun tidur, saya pasti akan panggil mama nak minta tolong turun tangga. tiap-tiap kali pasti papa yang akan datang menggendong saya turun tangga. diri tidak pernah dibiarkan turun sendiri. (hati terubat)

sewaktu sakit

papa pasti akan sedikit membentak: "sudah diberitahu bekali-kali jangan minum air sejuk, jaga makan!"
( diri tahu papa sangat bimbang di saat itu )

sewaktu melanjut pelajaran di universiti

papa hanya kakukan diri sewaktu diri memeluknya. sambil memberi nasihat, menyuruh jaga diri & belajar bersungguh-sungguh.
( diri tahu papa ingin memberi kekuatan di saat itu )

sewaktu berjumpa dengan teman lelaki

papa pasti akan berlagak 'cool' tapi mengekalkan status seorang ayah yang tegas.
( diri tahu ada sekelumit cemburu di hati papa )

sewaktu keluar dengan lelaki

hati papa akan mengeras dan memarahi diri. "papa tak suka lelaki-lelaki itu"
( diri tahu papa sangat risau akan keselamatan diri di saat itu)

dear papa,

walaupun diri akan meninggalkan papa suatu hari nanti & mungkin jarak akan menjadi satu masalah. YOU will be the only man that I truly, deeply & madly in love with. I'll never leave you alone and please don't be sad.

LoVe,
your troublesome daughter.

~ tHe cLimB ~

2010-10-02T14:23:00.000+08:00

it was exhausting but super duper exciting...

how can I describe the feeling of being up there?

the air was so cool

the sceneries were eye-soothing

the heart feels a sense of tranquility

the companions were so amazing.

mesmerizing, comfort and humility, perhaps.

how great of His creation.

peeps, you should try too =)

to be with nature...

is the chance you have to grab

once in your life.

experience it, then you can feel it ;)

~ cHeAtiNg HearT ~

2010-09-27T18:27:00.000+08:00

forgiveness is never easy.

kita senang untuk membenci, mudah untuk dengki. but forgiveness, that is a tough one. sometimes people say things they don't mean or do things they can't take back. sometimes we do things we can't take back. but how can we know that the action is unintended? why don't we think deeply before making the action?

we're all making mistakes. I make mistake. sekarang saya tahu apa yang saya buat bukanlah diri saya. unburden yourself from the mistakes of the past. and when you do, hati pasti akan jadi lebih kuat. I should know, and you should too. I was supposed to realize it a long time ago. but it doesn't mean that what you have done is forgotten.

we're all afraid of something. I was afraid. but what I have done is done. if in any case, saya dah melukakan hati kamu, kamu atau kamu. saya minta maaf. hanya maaf yang saya mampu pinta. even I know it's may not worth it.

~ EcHoEs oF MiRacLe ~

2010-09-25T10:45:00.001+08:00

Voiceover by Peyton, Lucas, Brooke, Nathan and Haley:

Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want, everything you want. Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle is gonna come from, the next smile, the next wish come true. But if you believe that it's right around the corner, and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it. You just might get the thing you're wishing for. The world is full of magic. You just have to believe in it. So make your wish. Do you have it? Good. Now believe in it. With all your heart.

do not ever lose hope, because there will always be miracles for you =)

~ Ruang Pertama ~

2010-09-18T21:03:00.000+08:00

ada sesetengah orang lebih menghargai pasangan masing-masing berbanding kawan, dan ada yang sebaliknya.

luckily, I own the best for both and I am grateful. terima kasih kawan. terima kasih untuk semua. =)

~ DiLeMMa ~

2010-09-18T02:14:00.000+08:00

I don't like your past time, honestly.
neither mine.

what was in the past already left us.

but then it seems people always try to cling onto the past time.

for what purpose?

sometimes there's something that you can hold on

BUT

sometimes there's something that you should let go.

mungkin awak patut kembali kepada masa silam dan lupakan kisah sekarang

and maybe....

we should stop.

~ sYaWaL mEnJeLmA ~

2010-09-10T01:48:00.000+08:00

1st time dapat kad raya dari incik bf. hepi terlebey2. mengada!

oh...oh seronoknya berada di rumah...

finally dah cuti balik raya

walaupun balik paling lambat kan...

still HOME SWEET HOME =)

untuk raya semua persiapan dah siap. erk? iye kot. tema tahun nie tak dapat ditentukan. sebab dah campur macam-macam warna. ada ungu, ada ala2 oren, ada pink shining2. makin tua sambut raya makin melilau mata nak pilih warna baju raya.ish3.... sebelum balik raya, wajib pergi jalan TAR bawak balik buah tangan untuk family. trime kaseh laaaa buat cik jae a.k.a gff & kekanda sebab sanggup temankan walau terpaksa mengharungi hujan & badai....ceh3

syawal kali nie, ada yang seronok & ada yang tak seronok. yang seronoknya sebab masih lagi boleh sambut dengan family tersayang. cukup kuota semua. takde yang kawen or lari umah ke. n sebab sehari sebelum raya ada special day...hehe.

yang tak seronoknya sebab pasti akan terasa kehilangan saudara yang pergi menyahut seruan Ilahi dahulu. tahun ni, ketiadaan nenek saudara yang terchenta pasti akan dirasai... semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat. amin.

buat mereka yang berada di perantauan pula, semoga bertabah yerk. salam lebaran dari Malaysia.hehe.

apa-apa pun, harapnye tahun ni akan mendapat lebih keberkatan. dan semoga masih dapat menempuh Ramadhan yang akan datang. doakan yang terbaik untuk semua =)

anyway, nak ucapkan:

SELAMAT HATI RAYA AIDILFITRI

MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN

JIKA TERSILAP KATA / TERSINGGUNG PERASAAN

SEMOGA BERBAHAGIA DI HARI RAYA INI =D

kad raya instant taon lepas. recycle balik. harap maklum ;p

p/s: 0-0 wokeh.harap2 duit raya makin bertambah dari tahun sebelum ni.amin ;)

~ DeeP in My HeArT ~

2010-09-09T16:09:00.002+08:00

dia happy go lucky...

dia poyo...

dia baik hati...

dia cerewet...

dia penyabar...

dia pembuli...

dia lembut...

dia kuat berlagak...

dia ego tinggi...

DIA SAYANG SAYA =)

Dear S,

I know you're not a romantic person, neither do I. for all this years, ape persamaan kita yerk?hehe. despite all the differences that we have, we have complement and complete each other.

semoga kita terus bertahan dan berhempas-pulas untuk menempuh tahun-tahun yang mendatang. insyaAllah...

thanks for everything... ILYSM ;)

p/s: bila nak kawen?hahahahaaa

kutub timur + kutub selatan

O.N.E

2010-08-30T23:33:00.001+08:00

kita isi empty spaces dengan empty words

hanya kerana...

kita tidak mahu menghadapi semua kekosongan dalam diri

we fill the silence with empty sounds.

BUT THEN...

I don't know where it comes from but it's what I hold on to.

and I can't let go

sumwhere inside me, I noe that it always wanted me.

but then maybe it just got lost

and now I will never feel empty, never feel silence.

as it has reached me. all I have to do is listen.

because it now surrounds us.

all we have to do is LISTEN. with our heart.

~ a GIRL not yet a WOMAN ~

2010-08-22T20:48:00.000+08:00

this few weeks, I went through my life as a different person. no more gossiping cerita- cerita sensasi with my babes, no more hang out with loved ones. no more ordinary routine. my life was dull & empty.

kenapa ini terjadi? diri pun tidak tahu. semua berlaku secara tiba-tiba. kini diri hanya bertemankan monolog dalaman. sendiri. mungkin itu lebih baik. atau mungkin tidak.

perempuan, girl, women memang kompleks dan makhluk yang penuh dengan emosi. yes! that makes us unique yet complicated because even we, ourselves can't understand what we really need.

cuma harap orang akan faham diri memang sesukar itu.

~ HanYa DoA dApAt DiKiRiM ~

2010-08-12T19:19:00.001+08:00

sudah dua hari umat Islam berpuasa...
juga sudah tiga hari papa kesayangan saya berada di wad...
he's got high fever...

apabila dapat tahu, diri rasa ingin terus balik
tapi papa cakap komitmen untuk belajar perlu diutamakan
kerana dia tidak berada pada tahap yang membimbangkan...

diri terus bertahan
terus teringat saat-saat bersahur, berpuasa & berbuka bersama family
sumpah rindu!

papa....
hold on k...
and my prayer will always be with you...ALWAYS....
do get well soon....amin.

and I know I need to be stronger than I am before. dun worry. I will.

~ Journey For HAPPYness ~

2010-08-07T19:17:00.000+08:00

I love lists. I always write assignment lists, shopping lists, movies-to-watch lists, books-to-read lists, wish lists, and most famously, the ever present, things-to-do lists.

today, while writing my to-do list, I realized that sometimes I will make some note at the bottom. either "good luck" , "fighting!" or "find happiness". but then I realized that sometimes I write "make happiness". I began to ponder the actions of my subconscious. I know this sounds like something lacking much substance. but I wondered why the difference? I went searching through my purse and drawer - found some older lists. sometimes I wrote "hold on!", sometimes "smile more often =)". of course there is mix up between "find and make happiness". but then something surprised me. sometimes, ever so simply, I've penned "LOVE yourself"

these little notes written to me don't contain words of wisdom, they aren't written eloquently and they aren't written with any talent. but I do think that they hold meaning and truth. it's funny what our head does when it's reacting to the heart. maybe one of these days I'll stop shoving the lists into my bag and start listening to what my heart is trying to have me to see.

~ sHe WeArS tHe BIGGEST sMiLe ~

2010-07-30T02:36:00.000+08:00

she wants to tell all her secrets and be true...
or maybe she should probably start with how much she cares for him

but then he sends her two roses, each with a note
the first note says for the woman I love
and the second for my best friend.

then she knows...
among all the truth...
deeply in her heart. she loves him.

~ DoN't sToP BeLieViNg ~

2010-07-14T14:59:00.000+08:00

Life is full of secrets.

but do you know what the secret of life is? one thing. just one thing. you stick to that and everything else doesn't mean shit.

that's what you've to figure out...

~ ReGrEt & bE gRaTeFuL ~

2010-07-10T21:29:00.000+08:00

life is simple, it's just not easy.

so do relationship. love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. to melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. to wake at dawn with a winged heart and grateful for another day of living.

a boy is a magical creature, you can lock him out of your door, but you can't lock him out of your heart. you can get him out of your study, but you can't get him out of your mind.

so whomever your partner is. either he is a mess or a nerd. either he is a talented artist or a skillful engineer. or a high imaginary person maybe. even a drug addicts or criminals...do give him a another chance coz everybody deserves a second chance rite...just hoping that he will be a better person and do give full support. wouldn't that be a good feeling =). saya pun harap yang baik- baik saja untuk semua....

~ wHo aRe YOU? ~

2010-07-09T01:37:00.000+08:00

it's undecided. STRANGER? HUMAN? STRANGER? HUMAN?

there are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad. afraid, confused, lonely, without a roadmap. the choices we make in those moments might prevent us from getting lost. of course when we faced with the unknown, kita sering turn around and go back then, how could we find our way?

so, maybe I was wrong in thinking that strangers sangat menakutkan and that strangers are weird. but I know this much, if I don't meet strangers, I wouldn't have found people that are worth to be friends. and if we were supposed to be foes, then it was the most beautiful mistakes I've ever made. and if I hadn't met this stranger, I wouldn't be the same person I am today ;)

when you look back at your picture collections, sometimes you might come across a picture of yourself and a stranger in the background. and you might wonder how many strangers have the pictures of you. just by thinking of that, you could be a big part in someone's life or might bring huge surprise for someone. yet, you not even know about it.

now, how interesting strangers could be?
so, dear strangers, friends, foes, lovers....how do we meet actually?

* past: stranger in the background =) *

* present: someone important..hee =D *

* future: to be determined??? =p *

~ Don't Let LoVe Becomes Ugly ~

2010-07-02T03:16:00.000+08:00

budak-budak zaman sekarang bercinta macam-macam kerenah. ada yang cover-cover malu, ada yang terlebih eksyen, ada yang cover-cover tapi nak eksyen...eh? so tetibe kali nie nak share sikit trend orang bercinta yang agak annoying bagi saya yerk. ulangan. pada pandangan saya sahaja.

1) pasangan on phone

time berchenta nie, orang kata bagai dunia korang yang punya. semua rasa macam indah. sampai hal orang lain pun dah tak kisah. kalau cakap telefon dalam LRT tu nak bagi satu LRT tau korang tengah hangat berchenta and pasangan korang tu romantik habis. tapi bila time bergaduh, kalau boleh nak maki hamun dalam phone biar semua orang dengar korang tengah kecewa. tak cukup dengan tu, siap letak dalam blog announce laki tu jahat lah, keji lah, dan seangkatan dengannya.

2) pasangan di 'mukabuku'

trend nie memang popular pada alaf yang berteknologi nie...iyelah...apa guna status relationship kalau taknak tayang kan? (iye ke?). perlu ke nak post status kat mukabuku tu yang korang tengah masyuk sangat berchenta. nak share yang pasangan korang tu yang terbaik lah di bima sakti nie.huh.

puteri cantek > putera kacak : sayanggg...thanks for the surprise...b ske sgt...love u...syg ckit.mmuah3

putera kacak > puteri cantek: not a big deal b...asal u hepi. i ada u sorg jea k b...love u too.

kadang- kadang terfikir jugak apa motif sebenar komen tu. y tak anta mesej kat phone jea? kalau kadang- kadang nak bermanja and tak overreact tu wokeh jea...takde lah smpai close minded sangat. tapi dah kalau asyik penuh dengan komen camtu jea kat home tu semak juga mata nie..hehe

3) pasangan di jalan raya

haaa...yang ini paling buat hilang sabar. kalau dalam kampus tu dah la kena pusing satu round, dah tu bawak kete tu slow pulak...konon berhemah tapi kalau dah drive kat lane laju tu tapi bawak macam baru nak blaja kete tu boleh nak kena hon tu. sekali dapat pintas, jeling sikit, haaa....tengah sakan gelak- gelak dengan pasangan. amboi...bahagia sangat dapat keluar sama sampai tak tahu beza lane laju dengan lane orang tengah berchenta.
ada yang lagi ' baek punye pasangan' siap lentok2 lagi...adoi...takpe nak manja2 pun...tak marah pun...macam lah saya tak pernah buat...oopppssss...heee...tapi kalau dah sampai kete2 laen pintas korang ikut sebelah kiri tu tak faham lagi ke korang dah kat salah lane tu!

4) pasangan di public places

pakwe macho + awek kurang lawa huish....sekali tengok pakwe dia tu macam Damon dalam ' Vampire Diaries ', dua kali tengok macam Nathan dalam ' One Tree Hill ', kali ketiga tak boleh tengok dah, takut jatuh cinta. apa nak jadi dengan kekanda saya nanti?hehe. wokeh.kembali kepada topik. pasal awek tu tak boleh nak describe macam pakwe pulak.wokeh.fine.rezeki dia lah boleh dapat pakwe hensem + macho macam tu, tapi tak payah sampai nak buat drama sebabak pulak. dah bila selisih, tetiba nak tarik tangan pakwe tu rapat2 and buat aksi menggoda supaya pakwe tak pandang lain. hello...ada saya cakap saya nak ngorat pakwe awak ke? i'm taken also k.

awek lawa + pakwe kurang macho yang nie pulak sama jea keadaan...jantina jea berubah. dah bila selisih tetiba rangkul gadis ke sisi. adeih...kalau kekanda saya nak ngorat awek awak tu, dia tak bersama saya. dah awak tu tengok saya takpe pulak?hahahaha ~

pakwe macho + awek lawa pasangan yang camnie tak boleh nak cakap banyak lah...dua2 nak kontrol masing2 punye pasangan. naseb baek sama cantek sama padan kurang sikit perasaan angin nie.lantak korang lah...kalau pasangan camnie susah sikit nak dibendung sebab jarang dijumpai...hehe

awek kurang lawa + pakwe kurang macho jenis pasangan camnie saya wokeh sangat sebab dua2 sedar diri. buat biasa-biasa jea. orang pun tak amek kisah sangat. so tak sakit mata memandang...darah pun tak tinggi =)

berchenta nie biar berpada-pada dan bersederhana. jangan melebih sangat. nanti merana diri. tak semestinya pasangan yang korang berchenta bertahun-tahun tu akan jadi suami / isteri korang nanti. wokeh?

~ tHeY aRe FaBuLouS ~

2010-06-30T23:57:00.000+08:00

* tempat kejadian *

* tempat gadis2 bersantai *

* hidangan yang membuka selera *

* gadis2 yang menanti dengan cool ;) *

* x0x0 *

* gadis2... *

* credits to sk...for d wonderful pics =D *

because life doesn't always happen according to a timetable or calendar...so it's hard to arrange any schedule to meet old friends... yet last Saturday was a good start and it was a chance that I can't missed. the moments of catching up with old friends are wonderful =)

dear gorgeous friends,

you will be you and I will be me, hari ini esok dan seterusnya, and let's trust the future to tomorrow. let us ride our own orbits and trust that they will meet. dan biarkan bintang terus menjejaki kita. may our reunion be not a finding but a sweet collision of destinies. LOVE and LOVE and LOVE again <3

~ tHey sAy TiMe HeaLs eVeRyThiNg ~

2010-06-28T13:40:00.005+08:00

" who you are is who you are. we're liars. we're thieves. we're addicts. we take our happiness for granted until we hurt ourselves or someone else. we hold grudges. and when faced with our mistakes, we reinvent the past. we reinvent ourselves. at least we try. we're prideful, and we're lustful, and we're incredibly flawed. and eventually, our flaws catch up to us." - One Tree Hill

~ sHouLd I FaLL foR y0u? ~

2010-06-27T00:42:00.002+08:00

thou sometimes she acts weird, she still has a good point ;)

which monster should I choose to be then...

little red riding hood maybe ;D

~ 3 wEEkS iN w0nDeRLaNd ~

2010-06-22T14:13:00.004+08:00

the hardest part about growing up is letting go of what you used to, and moving on with something you're not.

old memories seem to be most pleasant remembrance in our thought. old school, old friends, ex-lovers...but we are all guilty of saving old messages from someone who became really special in our lives. or going to familiar places that give us that small twinge in our hearts and smiles on our faces. oh memori. ada yang indah. ada yg pahit. that makes it as one of the most bittersweet feelings.

enough has happenend that I've learned perkara cantik tak kekal cantik selamanya. there always comes a day when everything changes, and it's not always for the best. despite the fact that I consider everything is important- education, lover, oxygen, food... the most important thing in life is family. there are days you love them, and others you don't. but, in the end, they're the people you always come home to. sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself.

and I'm glad to be here for the next two weeks. it feels like heaven.

~ No Lies...jUst LOVE ~

2010-06-08T01:14:00.007+08:00

dalam relationship, kalau tak ada challenges tak 'cool' kan?

orang cakap dalam banyak- banyak kesakitan, sakit hati sebab cinta yang paling sakit. now I've come to that understanding. in a relationship, every girl has that one boy in their life that has been there for them the whole time. she makes real conversation and feels real love. then they will be together and live happily. now I doubt that. It seems when you want someone, they don't want you. And when someone wants you, you don't want them. And when you both want each other, something has to come around and mess it up. or to be more accurate someone will come and bring back the past sweet memories.

cinta pertama sukar dilupakan. coz no matter how much the boy promised you. " I sayang u jea sampai bila-bila" or "let's just forget bout our past and be happy together k", he'll never be able to forget his first love and the memories will be recalled back sometimes. so, how lucky of you to be someone's first love.

but then I do realize that all the best love stories have one thing in common:
You have to go against the odds to get there. no matter how hard or rough the situation is.

i do hope i've enough courage to hang on. just... maybe single is better sometimes.

* awk, jadi mcm byg2 nie slalu nak ;p *

~ JuSt...MaYbE ~

2010-06-06T01:10:00.003+08:00

SOMETIMES...

THE smaller THINGS TAKE UP THE MUCH ROOM IN YOUR HEART ;)

2010-06-01T19:00:00.002+08:00

Press Statement on

GAZA AID FLOTILLA

Viva Palestina Malaysia is utterly shocked and outraged at the blatant and murderous act of aggression committed by the Israeli armed forces against the Flotilla carrying desperately needed aid to Gaza. Early reports indicate several deaths and injuries to an international group of peace activists whose sole intention is to break the illegal blockade of Gaza imposed by the government of Israel. That this attack took place against unarmed and defenseless civilians in international waters is all the more grievous and criminal. There was absolutely no necessity for force and all deaths and injury are simply reprehensible.

The Israeli government continues to invite world scorn in its despicable treatment of the Palestinians and this latest incident is another ghastly and cowardly stain on its appalling human rights record. The Israeli government has continuously denied their involvement in any siege of Gaza but this attack in itself is an admission of Israel’s explicit complicity in the genocide of an entire people.

The presence of many Malaysians on board and other international peace activists is of grave concern to Viva Palestina Malaysia and the Malaysian public. Viva Palestina Malaysia, taking cognizance of this critical turn of events in international waters, do hereby:

a. CONDEMN in the strongest possible term this latest round of aggression by Israel on the Freedom Flotilla;

b. HOLD the Israeli government totally responsible for the lives and well being of all volunteers on board the Freedom Flotilla;

c. DEMAND the immediate release of all the volunteers and urgent medical care be given to the injured;

d. URGE the United Nations and all democratic nations of the world to do everything possible to end wanton killings of innocent peace activists on the Freedom Flotilla;

e. DEMAND that all the aid destined for Gaza be released with immediate effect;

f. SUPPORT any move by the Government of Malaysia to ensure the safety of Malaysians on board the Freedom Flotilla and continue to champion the Palestinian cause in their aspirations towards freedom, justice and self determination.

source: mindacergas.wordpress.com

BISMILLAHIRAHMANIRAHIM
Ya Allah sebagai mana Kau pernah menghantar burung² ababil untuk
menghancurkan tentera bergajah Musyrikin. Maka kami memohon padamu ya
Allah, turunkanlah bantuan-Mu kali ini kepada org² Islam di Palestin,
hancurkanlah rejim zionis sedahsyat-dahsyatnya.. Amin Ya Robal Alamin..

do keep on praying people...it's one of our hope

~ i WaNt y0uR LoVe, i d0N't wAnT y0uR rEvEnGe ~

2010-06-01T18:23:00.004+08:00

I am majoring in English Literature & Linguistics. I explore lots of poems and plays. but I hate "Romeo & Juliet".

most of people adore their so-called love story. I hate how everyone compares love to Romeo & Juliet. did anyone ever read that play? memahami sedalam-dalamnya? the two met only for a few minutes. accidentally. started getting on a balcony a few hours later. they got married, did the big deed and they died. is that called LOVE? I bet Juliet didn't even know Romeo's favourite food, much less his birthday. it was only lust but it truly is tragic.

i don't want a relationship like that.

he is the only exception. but, to be honest. I don't know his favourite food or movie. I don't know who his best friend is, or how long it takes him to get ready. I just get to know that he loves spicy things dan juga bola sepak. I don't know every single detail about every single aspect of him. but I do know that he is the unique guy i've come across ;). and most importantly, I know one which is everything about him, one that is more important than looks.heee....

~ LyRiCs t0 mY LiFe ~

2010-05-27T18:21:00.002+08:00

I wish that I was one of those people that:
the clouds always cleared for,
the sun always shined on,
and the stars always came out for.
I wish I was the reason they invented spotlights for,
the kind of person that people longed to be...
Oh, wouldn't that be nice?

~ wHeN iT's JuSt mE & y0u, wHo kNoWs wHaT wE c0uLd d0 ;) ~

2010-05-26T21:55:00.005+08:00

ever have that person in your life that you just can't give up on? the one person that can screw you over time after time,but you always give them another chance and there is always another chance waiting for them.the person you know you're better off without but you can't seem to let them go. having this person in your life,it doesn't make you weak, it just means you have a weakness. there is no way to stop loving them, so don't bother to try...but don't let them define your life, either. it's yours, and yours alone.

dear YOU,

I know you used to spend every day thinking about him and dreaming about him, and everytime he walked by you lost yourself, I might not know what that feels like. And I couldn’t possibly know what it feels like to have that person not have the same feelings back. Look, I'm sorry if you miss the way he looked at you, but I think you shouldn't miss that.

Sad isn't it? How no matter what you do or say to him... when he comes running back... when he needs you again... you'll be there... right there waiting for him, you'll take him back... no questions asked. Sad isn't it?

but dear YOU,

Some people can just move on, you know. They mourn and cry and then they're done with it or at least appear to be. But to you, I don't know. I didn't want to fix it; I didn't want you to forget it. It wasn't something that was broken, it was just something that happened. And I want you to find ways, everyday, of working around it. You're respecting and remembering it, but you should getting along with your life at the same time.

Sometimes, there are things in our life that aren't meant to stay. Sometimes, change may not be what we want. Sometimes, change is exactly what we need. And sometimes, saying goodbye is the hardest thing you think you'll never have to do, but sometimes, saying hello again is the thing that breaks you down and makes you more vulnerable than you ever though possible. Sometimes, change is too much to bear. But most of the time, change is the only thing saving your life.

I LOVE YOU DEAR FREN...AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT...BE STRONG K =)

~ mEmBeSaR ~

2010-05-13T02:12:00.003+08:00

i'm a teenage girl...

i have my good days and bad days, and sometimes i take it out on others. when my ipod is blasting, the rest of the world gets tuned out. i have a wonderful family which is so supportive and 'chaotic'. there's a boy that i can't seem to stop thinking about. he's the reason i always pay attention to my phone. i can't go a day without saying or doing something silly. i truly don't know what i would do without my friends, they know how to make me feel happy and always there for me. i can be stubborn, bitchy and little clueless at times.

sometimes, in one day, dozens of things go wrong...but when i step back and look at things clearly, i realize how much i truly appreciate life, with every imperfection.

you're gonna fly with every dream you chase, you're gonna cry, but know that that's okay. sometimes life's not fair, but if you hang in there, you're gonna see that sometimes bad is good. we just have to believe things will work out like they should. life has no guarantees, but always loved by me, you're gonna be =)

i know that i can't remain young, i know i have a lot to learn, and i just don't want to grow up too fast...

~ EvErYtHiNg LeAvEs a MaRk ~

2010-05-12T01:38:00.005+08:00

" Life is like an onion: you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep." - Carl Sandburg

semalam saya diuji, pastinya hari ini dan hari seterusnya saya akan diuji. kerana hidup adalah satu ujian.

in my life, i've been told the things i cannot do. all my life they will say i'm not good enough or strong enough or talented enough. they will say i'm in the wrong height or wrong weight or the wrong type to be this to achieve this. they will tell me no, a thousand times of "NO's", until all the "NO's" become meaningless. all my life they will tell me no, quite firmly and very quickly. and now it's the time to tell them yes.

i want to expect nothing. i just want to live frugally in surprise. as there are only two ways to live your life. one is as though nothing is a miracle. the other is everything is a miracle.

today, i'm gonna start to try a little harder, gonna make every minute last longer, gonna learn to live and forget, because i don't have long, gonna make the most of it. today i'm gonna love my enemies, reach out to somebody who needs me, make a change, make the world a better place because tomorrow could be one day too late.

every person leaves a mark. i just hope that i leave a good one.

~ LiFe is BriEf ~

2010-04-28T00:10:00.004+08:00

life is made up of meetings and partings. people come into your life everyday, you say good morning, you say good evening, some stay for a few minutes, some stay for a few months, some a year, others a whole lifetime. no matter who it is, you meet and then you part.

setiap pertemuan dan perpisahan yang Tuhan tentukan pasti ada sebabnya. dan di sebalik sebab- sebab itu pasti terselit hikmahnya. dalam bulan ini sahaja, saya mendapat lima berita tentang kematian orang tersayang kepada kawan-kawan saya. salam takziah kepada ahli keluarga mereka dan sama-sama kita sedekahkan al-Fatihah.

apa yang membuatkan saya terfikir, hidup ini tak panjang. sudah banyak perkara yang membuang masa yang dah dilakukan. ada waktu yang lebih banyak dihabiskan bersama teman berbanding keluarga sendiri. kita tidak akan sedar selagi kita biarkan diri kita hanyut. tiada niat untuk tuding jari kepada sesiapa hanya sekadar peringatan bersama.

it's difficult to know which second among a lifetime of seconds is more special. often when you realise how precious those seconds are, it's too late for them to be captured because the moment has passed. we realise too late. and when that happens there is no use of regret. have a good life people. appreciate every moment with your love ones =)

~ HoPiNg FoR MiRacLeS ~

2010-04-14T13:12:00.003+08:00

as we grow up..we often have to make decision in life and sometimes question about it.

but...

what to do when faced with two choices???

a person used to tell me...

simple.toss a coin. it works not because it answers the question for you. but because while the coin is in the air, you suddenly realize what you are hoping for.and now I realize that it might be true.

tapi, ape-ape pun sebagai Muslim...the best way is absolutely by praying...it is the only way to get the right answers for your decision. and make sure that you will never regret about your answer.

Miracle doesn't happen by itself people, you must ask for it...and only HIM can give it to you =)

~ cHiLdHooD ~

2010-04-13T13:21:00.008+08:00

" there is always one moment in childhood when the doors open and let the future in."- Deepak Chopra

After all this "growing up" I can honestly say I love swings... I can still recall the first time I learnt to swing by myself and that awesome butterfly feeling in my stomach. I think I've outgrown this particular swing though :p

It's funny the memories that stay with you through time and it's sad when I think of all the days in my life where I actually can't remember what I did or what my thoughts were. time passes so fast though. how I miss my childhood time- with no responsibility and full of innocence.

now I've come to my adulthood yet still with no maturity. I know I've to move on with no regrets. but the memory of childhood will still be alive as from there I learn to be who I am- a girl on her swing after fighting with the feeling of nervous. and I'll never GIVE UP.

p/s: ada sape2 mau me to push their swing? ;D

~ LoVe uR FaMiLy ~

2010-04-12T14:05:00.008+08:00

*love u all so much*

ramai orang cakap duit itu penting...betul ke????

I know about a true story...suatu petang, tiga beradik pergi ke satu pesta jualan bersama ayah mereka. tetapi sebelum itu, ayah mereka pergi ke bank untuk mengeluarkan duit dan meninggalkan tiga beradik tersebut untuk meng 'explore' barangan dulu. sekembalinya ayah mereka ke pesta tersebut, beliau bercadang untuk kembali ke pesta tersebut pada malam hari... mereka sekeluarga pulang tanpa membeli ape-ape barang. at night, baru the siblings know that their father tidak dapat mengeluarkan duit pada petang tadi...tanpa sebab yang munasabah.

this story touched me because their father put his children's needs as the priority even though he knew he did not have enough money. and he can not afford to buy his own things with full satisfaction.

as for me, i absolutely agree that money is important. duit amat penting untuk hidup di zaman ini. however, i know that money can't buy happiness as it is so precious. at such time, baru nak sedar kesilapan2 yang dah terlanjur sebelum ini.huhu.so to my family, i love all of you so much with all my heart...above all things.no matter what happen.

p/s: moral of the story..kena lebih berjimat coz malang tidak berbau.we never know what might come people =)

~ GrAcEfuLnEss oF aN eLePhAnT ~

2010-03-16T12:03:00.007+08:00

people loves to make promises...I hate them...because the promises never have been fulfilled...

even I try not to trust. I tend to put too much hope on the promises...fool me.

in a relationship, i discover something. LOVE & HATE.
there's a fine line between love and hate. love frees a soul and in the same breath can sometimes suffocate it. I walked that tight rope with all the gracefulness of an elephant, my head weighing me to the side of hate, my heart hoisting me to the side of love.

it was a wobbly journey and sometimes I fell. sometimes I fell for long periods of time but never for too long. never for as long as this.

I'm not asking to be liked. I've never yearned to be liked, nor am I asking to be understood fully. when I behaved that way, when I left by your side, let go of your hand, hung up the phone, even I had difficulty liking me, understanding me.

but it's just how I was.
how I was.

~ bRiBeRy ~

2010-03-03T09:22:00.004+08:00

semalam baru jea dapat rezeki lebih...hasil sewaan kereta yang agak lumayan ;)
so, saya dan kekanda bercadang nak dinner sama2...kami keluar jea uni dengan perasaan teruja tanpa menyedari 'pemangsa-pemangsa' yang sudah sedia menanti. once sampai kat trafik light kat satu simpang, dengan konfidennya kekanda belok sambil melanggar lampu merah.huu...minta perhatian...kami dah biasa buat macam tu..dah habit...cuma malang tak berbau...semalam tetiba ada pegawai2 jpj pulak elok buat operasi kat simpang tu...haish...

apa yang saya concern from that incident is rezeki yang pegawai2 tersebut dapat. incik kekanda went out to negotiate with the officer. then came toward the car and took rm50, so we were released after that.kekanda beritahu yang saman for langgar lampu merah suppose rm300 tapi after dapat duit kopi rm50-dilepaskan...

i am really grateful because we have to pay rm50-at least. i know it is really our mistake for not obeying the traffic rules but i just wonder does that mean that we had bribe the officer? and does that indicate that the officer actually intended to receive the bribery?dunia sekarang sudah tidak selamat...people tends to do anything...even bad things. as long as they do not get into trouble. i finally realize...

p/s: hilang rm50 dari rezeki sewa kereta...huuu...

~ LiFe's cLiMb ~

2010-02-15T09:12:00.003+08:00

why people love to fight over small things and not something important?

best friends are fighting about the stories that have been made up...
couples are fighting about jealousy...
mothers and daughters are fighting about privacy...
celebrities are fighting to be more popular...

fight is necessary...

" when we stop fighting for each other, that's when we lost our humanity." -jackson curtis, 2012-

but in a proper conditions...I kept thinking why people does not prefer to make the world a better place. try to live in harmony and peace people! do no waste your life and keep on struggling for yourself and others.because we certainly do no want to lose our humanity. for we know it is priceless =)

~ F.R.I.E.N.D.S ~

2010-01-28T01:10:00.007+08:00

I'm finding that realization is so much more frustrating than never finding anything.

how often we wish we had stayed on the same path.
I disappear regularly, I lose contact regularly.
no one checks up on me and I like it that way.
I like to come and go as I please.

Yet now I realize something.
I miss my friends. a lot. but what's the reasons of the feeling?
we all get lost once in a while and busy with our own life...
sometimes by choice, sometimes due to forces beyond our control.
when we learn what it is our soul needs to learn, the path presents itself.
I regret because I do not contact my friends often enough, and I am really sorry for behaving like that...huu...just want you, who are my friends, know that our friendship still precious for me even I lack in my concern.

p/s: all of u will still be my bff even xde dlm gmba d bwh...n i juz realize that we hadn't take much pic.huhu

~ uNTiTLeD ~

2010-01-19T00:29:00.002+08:00

life is not filled with satisfaction!

but only one thing that i request.

i just want to be understood??

is it so hard to do?

~ iF y0u c0uLd sEE mE n0w ~

2010-01-15T15:31:00.003+08:00

life is funny, isn't it?

just when you think you've got it all figured out, just when you finally begin to plan something, get excited about it and feel like you know what direction you're heading in, the paths change, the signs change, the wind blows the other way, north is suddenly south, and east is west and you're lost. it is so easy to lose your way, to lose direction.

there aren't many sure things in life, but one thing I do know is that you have to deal with the consequences of your actions. you have to follow through on some things.

I always give up. what have I ever had to do in my life that really needed to be done? I always had a choice, and I always took the easy way out- we always took the easy way out.

life is hard! so what? it's hard for everyone, isn't it? anyone who says it's easy is a liar. while for me I'm only find it terribly hard in 'relationship issues'. people tends to say soulmates always end up together. ex-girlfriends or boyfriends are easily forgotten. best friends stay with you forever.

can somebody proof to me that the statement is true? coz I really do hope so...

~ HeLL0 R0mAnTiC0 ~

2010-01-12T17:26:00.005+08:00

11 Januari 2010 ( Isnin) - 11.45pm

waktu berpisah:-

gf: shafiq...thanks sangat2 ari nie...bye. (dengan nada gembira)

bf: wokeh. happy birthday. (tersenyum). eh...orang terjumpa kad tadi. ada tulis nama ila. (sambil hulur kad)

gf: ........................ (terkejut, terharu, senyum sorang2)

tiba- tiba dia bertindak romantik. impress. excited =))

even it's only a birthday card. means a lot to me. coz kad tersebut ditulis oleh orang tersayang. dengan rasa kasih sayang untuk orang tersayang.hehe. I really appreciate it dear busyuk2... boleh pulak buat innocence ea.hehe.x0x0 =D.

* tamat di sini ayat2 jiwang...heee.... * * bermula ayat2 serius =p *

apa ada pada 22 tahun???
usia sudah meningkat, tapi perangai masih macam budak- budak. as my age increases, i think the more childish i've become.apa boleh buat?hehe.

sekarang saya sudah mula untuk think about future seriously. about my education, my relationship, my LIFE. only one thing that always disturb me- my self confidence! saya selalu terfikir, boleh ke saya teruskan? boleh ke saya capai impian?

but now, i know i have to make a good decision. i've always thought that things aren't going to be fair in the real world. even if karma happenned. it's just the way it is. sometimes fate just can't stop meddling. there are some people that can achieve bright future without doing much but some, like me have to fight well in achieving good life.

this year, i just hold on to this principle, "do not afraid of life, follow your instinct, and be yourself!" and that really give me a boost of strength. I didn't see it coming, but I can definitely feel it. I long for the strength.

p/s: also need prayer from all =))

~ HiDDeN ~

2010-01-06T01:00:00.000+08:00

men are very weak
they make principle but dun realize dat no principle can override the heart
n we remind these stubborn men that bonds of the heart are based on feelings n not principles
but these bonds are created by telling the other person bout one's inner feelings

however sumtimes saying wat one feels can break one's heart
but by not saying it,u won't be happy
so wat're we supposed to do...

~ AkaN DiCaPai ~

2010-01-02T12:51:00.003+08:00

2010 sudah bermula...azam baru pun dah ditetapkan...harap terlaksana...

hopes in education:
1) tak malas nak pergi kelas...nie niat pagi2 bangun tido asyik nak ponteng kelas jea.haish.

2) tak stress lagi dgn 1 subjek major nie.sangat kritikal dengan subjek nie.camne subjek nie boleh wujud (?_?)

3) pointer kena naik lagi...asyik statik jea... *memang laa tak naik klo asyik main2 ;p*

4) assingment.ape tips nak siapkan assingment awal2? nie habit selalu nak buat keje las minit.hehe

-setelah disenaraikan, rupanya sifat malas amat tebal dalam diri saya.ish3.

hopes in relationship:
1) harap dapat luang masa dengan family sangat2.mau pergi vacation sama2.huu...

2) dapat ronggeng dengan bff saya puas2.next year maybe dah jarang lepak2.

3) dapat kad jemputan kawen kawan2. mau makan nasi minyak.hehe

4) dengan busyuk2 saya, sangat harap saya dapat memahami kam000.

- social skill & relationship saya still perlu di 'upgrade' (@_@)

after all, this year is a fresh start for me. with new plans and new strategies in my life. I do hope this year akan jadi lebih bermakna dengan sweet and bad memories that will remain in my thought =))

# SELAMAT TAHUN BARU SEMUA #

p/s: baru jea bazirkan duit untuk shopping di hari pertama new year.haish.camne nak blaja bjimat nie.hee...

~ YoU mAkE mE FeeL _Ad

2009-12-28T13:07:00.003+08:00

You have changed...

I don't know why... I just feel different.
Your words seem rude to me... your attitude seems harsh to me.
There's no more great and sincere laughter between us.

You think I'm mad at you...No, I don't.
I'm just mad at myself...Just because...
I can't understand you anymore. I guess I never do.
Even how hard I keep on trying.

After all, I think it's me that have changed!!!
Yeah, it's me.
For being such sensitive and emotional girL...
I just can't lie to myself....

p/s: sowry 11x =(

~ wHaT a Day ~

2009-12-14T01:55:00.003+08:00

i've been robbed...

now I know what is the feeling of losing something that quite important
when you have it you seem to take it for granted
but once you lose it, you will regret it
serve me right...

the incident gave quite an impact to me
but then through the incident also I come to realize something
I could get to know the people that will be supporting me and the group that will ignore me
thanks a lot guys for the concern...
I appreciate it s0000 much =))

~ H0pE d SkY iS aLwAyS bLuE ~

2009-12-12T04:16:00.002+08:00

twinkle twinkle little stars

I always prefer to look at the sky when I have bad feelings about my life.The sky is so wide, the moon and the stars just make me feel better.How great the creations of God.

Life without problems is not cool right?So I guess I have to bear with all the troubles that are competing to rush into my life.Yet, the most troublesome dilemma is when it is related with your feelings.How could I ignore others' feelings?Can I be that selfish?Just thinking of it makes me feel guilty.

My father used to tell me that memory is a good thing to be remembered, either it was the good one or the bad one.But papa, your daughter is not strong enough to bear with all of the memories in her life.I try hard to delete all the bad memories in my mind.I wish I have a quite large and enough space of dustbin to dispose all the memories.How fool I am to think something like that.But I know I actually have to learn from the bad memories.For better future.So that I will never repeat the same mistakes again.Thanks for your advice papa.Your daughter understands the situation now =)

To my Soulmate, sorry for giving you a lot of troubles. I know I have to understand you better. I need to be more mature person.How childish I am right?And I have to struggle hard to maintain this feeling towards you.Saya masih bertahan dear.

Sekarang, listening to Love You Yes-Couple::while looking at the sky::finish this entry.Now I feel relieve and great.

Hope the night sky will always been occupied by the moon and the stars ;D

~ FiGhTiNg SpiRiT ~

2009-12-04T00:42:00.002+08:00

waaa...lepas da struggle nak check result.dengan website buat hal...lagi bertambah berdebar nak tau result.tp Alhamdulillah...hasil yang tidak berapa mengecewakan.sume lulus...hehe...
pointer pown bley tahan sikit walaupun memang rase macam hancur jea sem nie...ada 1 subjek yang agak mengganggu prestasi. tapi da nasib coz banyak bermain dan kurang fokus.so memang konfem kena struggle lebih utk new sem...haishhh...kalau tak mesti kecewa...huhu

sekarang baru nak sedar yang time belajar main2 sangat...bila da dapat result yang cukup-cukup makan jea baru nak insaf...sebelum ini takde pulak terfikir ape akibat kalau tak fokus.apa boleh buat...da memang kebanyakan ragam pelajar sebegitu rupa.time exam or kuiz jea baru nak bukak buku ;p.selain dari waktu genting camtu,enjoy laa kan...hehe...how i wish i can be more hardworking student.

p/s: yet, still have to struggle for next sem. * fighting everybody ;)) *

~ a GOOD day ~

2009-11-30T00:00:00.003+08:00

i hate rude people...especially girls...

kenapa perempuan susah nak kawal emosi???
bila tau boyfren rapat dengan perempuan lain jea terus nak gaduh2 tanpa usul periksa.
dan tak pasal2 jea perempuan tu kena tuduh yang bukan2, semua kesalahan diletakkan atas perempuan tu...kenapa boyfren tak kena tuduh juga???

kenapa perempuan bila jatuh cinta sanggup berkorban apa saja demi boyfren???
sampai ada yang tak jaga maruah sendiri, sampai ada yang sanggup ketepikan famili dan sanggup keluarkan kata2 kesat pada siapa2 yang menghalang hubungan itu.
dan ada juga yang sanggup putus kawan hanya kerana kawan itu rapat dengan boyfren.

if u think that everybody around u is a loser, u should think about urself too...
u have make a sin just by not being fair and illogical to others.
why don't u ponder for a moment what have u done towards your family, frens, lover and most important to your God. and what have they sacrifice to u in their life???
life should not be complicated and we should appreciate it every moment.
by not losing it to evil whispers that can lead us to the wrong path in life ;))

~ oH mY pRaDa...PANASSS!!!! ~

2009-11-24T00:02:00.006+08:00

last week me n ma fwen tgk movie 'pisau cukur'.
suppose nk tgk '2012', tp too many people lines up nak beli tiket...huhu

as a Malay movie, cite nie bley tahan jgk laa...
ada its own sense of humour n interpretations...
n dgn lakonan mantap fazura, maya n aaron =))
i think i can give 8 out of 10 for dis movie...
especially untuk aksi gedik...hehe
(rs cm movie critics plk)

lepas tgk movie nie, my stigma towards ppuan 'pisau cukur' nie da brubah sikit...
maybe they have their own reason to be some one like that...
yup...money is really important,tp protection from the partner also important for me.
to hold me when i'm going down, to comfort me when i've bad feelings, to back up me when some one say bad things about me.
so my dear busyuk2,can u do that to me? (^_*)

p/s: miss time childhood,papa olwez hold my hand when i tried to walk

~ cHeNta YaNg SeMpUrNa ~

2009-11-18T01:37:00.004+08:00

life is unpredictable...
we dun even can get an idea wat might happen tomorrow...
i get a shocked news today...
one of my frens' mother has passed away today...
dun ever get to contact him for a quite long time...
dunnoe why he kept a sudden distance...but now i guess i noe d answer...
salam takziah my fren...be strong k...i noe it's hard..but u must noe dat there's olwez family n fren dat u can keep holding on k...we'll give our full support...insyaAllah...

i noe everybody will face the death someday...
i juz can't imagine how am i suppose to face it...i noe it's inappropriate to talk about dis matter...
but it's juz kept coming in my mind today...
n now i noe i have to appreciate every single moment in my life..
there is not much time for me to quarrel over small thing...
there is not much time for me to spend quality moment with my loved ones...
there is not much time for me to waste by hating people...
bcoz we'll never noe wat might come afterwards...

but i do hope there's still TOMORROW...
for me to tell my family how much i love them...
for me to tell my busyuk how i appreciate for ur concern...
for me to tell my dearly frens thank u for olwez by my side...
for me to keep striving for d best in my education...
AND for me to still keep being grateful to HIM for giving me such a wonderful life
now i noe i shouldn't being regret and should still moving on for better days.

p/s: suddenly miss my homie,busyuk2 n frens so much :((

~ WisHfuL tHiNkiNg ~

2009-11-15T23:29:00.004+08:00

the situation seems to change...
i dunno wat happen to me rite now...
emotional changes...appetite changes...
not to better...but to worse...

ari nie da lps dua paper...
tp still rs tbeban...haish...
tomorrow there's another paper waiting...
but wat i'm doing rite now???
BLOGGING!!!bagos sgt laa tu... ;pp
malasnye laa nk study...bkn nk insaf pown...
td da r jwb tunggang langgang...ntah lecturer phm ke x...
huhu...sowry lah yerk dear sir...it's really my fault....

hurm...klo nk trus grad jea bley x???
brangan jea laa..i noe it's nonsense...
i juz hope i can find my 'study mood'...bcoz it's MISSING rite now *sigh*
i noe i have to find it quickly...if u found it...do inform me ;p

p/s: i think i already having post exam syndrome ;(

~ L0neLy iS mY fRiEnD ~

2009-11-09T03:04:00.006+08:00

i never thought that i will feel this feeling.at this moment.
3:05am...i try to sleep.but it's hard.
LONELY...
seems lyke he has found me.maybe he wants me to accompany him tonite.
but y he came so sudden???
how i hate the way he makes me feel.and how i try to make him leave.
i try...and... i try...
DEAR lonely,can't u juz go away???i'm not a good companion...

have u ever feel that there's no one u can hold on...
even though u have many great supporters...
n suddenly u feel lyke to shed tears...
but they juz won't fall down...
i try to fight d loneliness...but he's there in the dark.he's there in my heart.in myself.
i am fine for a while.but i start to lose control.bcoz he keep growing around me.

i think i need to be more optimistic.and have a really good rest...
an enjoyable vacation maybe...
a great escape...
i know i should

~ mY oBsEssi0n ~

2009-11-07T16:26:00.009+08:00

i don't know what happen...

to myself...
to my mind...
to my stomache...
but i really do crazy thinking about these 'creatures'

- chocolate sundae mcD-
eventhough i have it every week, but still want it... ;D

- big apple donuts -
da lame xmrase...sy mau...huhu

- cadbury chocolates -
used to have it everyday, but should stop 4 my teeth's g00dness..hee...but how bout juz 1 more :D

kam000...
how could u eat all my favourites!!!isk3...
oopssS... is this pic include in d list too ;p

so for those who think that they are kind-hearted n generous,
do treat me wif the food k
can't wait...
THANK YOU ;D

~ d0n'T jUdGe a BooK bY iTs c0vEr ~

2009-11-07T13:51:00.003+08:00

first impression...
is it so00 important???
i LOVE to observe surroundings. i will look at people around me. the way they dress, the way they talk, the way they walk n the way they behave...

one day when i was hanging out with my bff,while we're juz sat around watching people, i saw a young couple. perhaps around 20++ years old. handsome + beauty. d boy was wearing adidas t-shirt, baggy denim short, converse sneakers and cap.yeah...nothing to impress.just lyke any ordinary teenage boys. while his gurl was wearing dark green knit tube dress and yup...her dress was only down till her knees. of coz there were some guys stared at his gurl..include my bff. BOYZ...wateva... maybe also nothing to impress till...when i wanted to perform prayer at d surau.yeah3...d gurl was there preparing to perform the prayer... what the heck!

i know that i shouldn't judge people by her appearance.maybe i have miss sumthing important n that will make me misjudge people.but please gurl, couldn't u wear sumthing more descent??? never crossed in my mind that u're Malay k.

it's true that first impression is not about what we wear, but people still can judge us by only looking at what we wear. u are not going to let other people look down on u rite. so u better give them good impressions about u. they don't know u yet n be sure dat u expose urself wif sumthing that u really shoud be proud of =)

p/s: can't imagine wat people will think during my interview s000n...

~ tAkE mE t0 d sTaRs ~

2009-10-29T08:27:00.006+08:00

i olwez hide sumthing from u...
i olwez tell lies to u...
but u never understand it
i really didn't mean it...

i had bad bad days rite now...
u dunnoe how miserable am i
ma fault to let them go on u
boo to maself...

wish to go to a peaceful place...
take a deep breath n enjoy d scenery of nature...
i wanna look at d stars...
n realize dat d sky is sooo beautiful...
i wanna enjoy d juicy n tastiness of ice-cream...
n donuts...
do bring peace n calm to mE...

p/s: can't wait dis saturday =D

~ cAri SkAnDaL LaGi ~

2009-10-29T07:38:00.004+08:00

WORD....
sometimes can be a curse...
sometimes can be a miracle...

people can get hurt by ONLY one word
and also can be s000 happy by a word
but how can we noe 'dat' ONE word can give such a big impact to us
d word can signify many meanings...
i said dat u're bad...but maybe i lyke d way u've been bad...
or maybe i really mean dat u're bad person...

watch out for d words u've uttered...
they may become true...
kalau cakap word yg elok takpe laa kan...
wanna success in lyfe.lead a gud lyfe.
have cute child lyke Suri.being blessed olwez.

tp klo da pray 4 bad things...
bodo laa kau nie.otak ko biol laa.
asek2 ada skandal ;p
once da tmakbul...
br nk gelabah yerk...

u think dat's a joke...
but i think u shud regret
Y?
bcoz i already annoyed!!!!

how do u noe dat d word U have uttered can make Me feel so miserable...
but i shud've known dat u really dun mean it...

~ BaWaKu PuLaNg ~

2009-10-16T18:28:00.003+08:00

my bodies are itchy...
n swollen...
dunnoe why...
he thinks dat i'm allergic...
OMG!!!!
so miserable....
so uncomfortable...
nk garu nnti luke (T_T)

at dis moment...
really wanna eat...
ice-cream...
chocs...
doughnuts...
cravings...
huhu

wat i want d most....
GO HOME...
saye mau...

p/s: now i think dat i'm quite manje...huhu

~ c0nFeSSi0n oF aN 0rDinArY giRL ~

2009-10-14T05:16:00.003+08:00

knape asal jd gurl jea nk emosi lbey...
cpt senctif...
cpt emotional...
cpt trase...
y dun we tend to be more cheerful (^_^)

knape asal jd gurl jea ada yg nk gedik2...
knon2 act as an innocent little girl...
xske and wanna kick all d bitches...
but never realized dat she is among d bitches...
dat other people want to kick out...
y dun we juz be a normal girl dat do not make people feel irritated with us...

knape asal gurl jea msti nk relate dgn gossip...
ske jaga tepi kain org laa...
ske rmpas hak org laa...
ske attract attention laa...
y dun u juz mind ur bizness n stop messing wif other people...

i noe words are easy to utter...but when it apply to action...it's definetely hard to do...
but y dun we try...fix it....be optimistic...be realistic...i think u'll slowly become a better gurl...
STOP BEING AN ANNOYING PERSON IN OTHERS' EYES

*i am irritated now...but will try to fix it (n_n).do neglect d harsh words in this post...*

~ iGn0Re mE...bUt d0n't LeAvE mE ~

2009-10-14T03:15:00.001+08:00

i dun want to meet u...
i dun want to text u...
i dun want to call u...
I THINK WE NEED A GAP...

it's juz only for a reason...
and will olwez be 4 dat reason...

DO IGNORE ME...

~ s0rrY seems 2 be d cmplicated word ~

2009-10-09T18:21:00.002+08:00

it's my fault...
for being emotional
it's my fault...
for being selfish
it's my fault...
for being ungrateful
it's my fault...
for not being rational

from all above...i juz wanna say sowry 4 having dat characteristics n keep repeating d same mistakes n make u feel annoyed...for i'm hardly comfort u...

i'm jUst bEinG sTuPiD...

~ mE....sELfiSh...sEnSiTiVe...Em0ti0NaL...s0 wAt??? ~

2009-10-08T18:23:00.002+08:00

kadang-kadang kite asek jea pkr psl org laen...smpai kite lupe nk pkr hal sndiri...
kite asek pkr nk jage ati org laen...smpai kite lukakn ati kite sndiri...
kite tolerate jea org nk wat ape pown...kite maafkn jea fault yg da bkali2 diulang...
bley ke kite jd sabar smpai camtu????

i try 2 be selfish....
i try 2 be intolerance...
i try 2 be impatient...
i try 2 be bad...
but i can't...am I too good???absolutely not...stupid maybe...

dulu saya tak pernah terfikir keadaan akn jadi lbey teruk...
tak pernah terfikir saya akan lbey terluka...
tak pernah terfikir saya akan lbey marah...
n skrg i'm feel worse...

i noe i've to fix it...
as i read one of ma fren's entry... *really thanks to her post*
she said dat we have to put a distance between us n 'sumthing'
so i think i've to make a gap between me n ......
so i can feel better...
n i really hope so.... (^_^)

p/s: but i still love u k ;D

~ mR. h0LiDaY...i'M vErY mAd aT u!!!!! ~

2009-09-26T19:37:00.002+08:00

knape raye ari yg bmakne???
sbb meraikan kejayaan kte mnempuh bln puase kn???
btol3 (eh...eh...)

so raye nie msti r kna hepi kn...
raye kot...sbulan skali...
eh...eh...staon skali...hee...
bazir jea r klo x nkmati kn...
dpt jmpe sdare mare yg da agk lame r xjmpe...
ada yg xprnah knl pun...huhu
dpt mkn juadah raye yg besh2...
dpt dwet ry...*wlaupun da makin kurang (~_~)*
dpt tmbahkn lg berat badan *wink*

tp saye rs sgt marah dgn incik holiday...
sbb saye nk cuti lg...
tp incik holiday kedekut...huhu
xpuas pun cuti2 raye smbil bfoye2...hehe
da kna blk smbung blaja...
bley x klo sy nk wat2 lupe jea cuti da habes...hehe
sy rase....
dat was a gud idea (^_*)